Living on your own can give you space to enjoy familiar routines and spend your time as you choose. But there may be days when you’d welcome a conversation or some company. Staying connected doesn’t have to mean a busy diary. A few regular moments with people you enjoy can bring companionship into your week, while leaving plenty of time for yourself.
Start with the contact you enjoy
Think about the people you feel comfortable with and how you like spending time together. You might prefer a chat on the telephone, a short visit at home or meeting someone for a walk.
There’s no need to enjoy every kind of social activity. A conversation with one familiar person may suit you better than a room full of people, and that’s a useful place to begin as you explore your options.
If you’d like more contact with someone, try making a simple suggestion for another day. Asking, “Would you fancy a cup of tea next week?” gives you both something to arrange.
Give your week a familiar meeting point
Having something regular in the diary can make it easier to keep in touch. It takes away the need to make a new plan each time and gives you something to look forward to during the week.
Perhaps a friend would enjoy a weekly telephone call, or a neighbour might like to join you for coffee. Choose something that fits comfortably around your usual routine and feels easy to maintain.
A regular arrangement could be:
A Sunday afternoon call with a family member.
A short walk with someone who lives nearby.
A monthly lunch with an old friend.
Choose arrangements that leave room for days when you feel tired or have other things to do. If plans change, find another time that suits you both.
Connect through shared interests
Meeting new people can feel easier when you’re doing something you enjoy. Whether you’re planting seeds or discussing a book, having something in common gives you a simple way to start talking.
Your local library, community centre or place of worship may have activities you’d enjoy. You could ask about a gardening group, a craft session, a book club or a regular coffee morning.
Before going along, you might want to find out:
Whether you need to book or can drop in.
What the activity costs, if anything.
How to get there and what access is like.
You don’t have to commit to attending regularly. Trying one session can help you decide whether it feels right, and a friend or relative may be able to accompany you the first time if you would appreciate support.
Keep in touch from home
Getting out isn’t always convenient or possible. Telephone calls, letters and visits can help you stay part of other people’s lives from your own home.
If you enjoy using a mobile phone or tablet, sharing photographs or having a video call can be another way to spend time together. Ask someone you trust to show you anything unfamiliar, at your own pace.
You don’t need to use technology to keep in touch. A postcard, a familiar voice on the telephone or someone stopping by can be just as welcome.
Let people know what suits you. They may not realise you’d prefer a call to a message, or a short visit to a longer outing every so often.
Ask for more company
It can feel awkward to tell someone you’re missing company, particularly if you’re used to managing things yourself. You don’t need to wait until you know exactly what would help before mentioning it.
You could say, “The afternoons have been feeling a bit long lately,” or, “I’d enjoy seeing you a little more often.” This gives someone a chance to understand and talk through what might be possible.
If friends and family live far away, a local community organisation may be able to tell you about visiting schemes, telephone befriending or nearby activities. Companionship care may also be an option to explore if you would value regular company at home.
Start with one connection that feels comfortable. You can build, choosing the people, places and conversations you’d like more of in your week.
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